Game of Thrones is on a major hiatus whilst they film the last six episodes of all time. They’re part of Season 8 which is due for release in March 2019, but they’re filming now as they need snowy conditions. It’s arguably the greatest TV show of all time. Certainly the most watched and talked about, and the one with the hottest men ever! It is full of nudity and endless sex, heavy on incest, tits, ass, and lesbians drinking from the furry cup. But how gay is it really? What are the men up to and how often does Jon Snow deep rim Jaime Lanister? Does Jorah Mormort bicep fist Daario Nahari’s hairy muscular ass whilst Tyrion jerks off his uncut dwarf cock? Here’s our favourite scenes (we’d like to see!):
10 The two leading gay characters, Loras Tyrell and Renly Baratheon, are just finished breeding ass when Maregary bursts in and warns them they are being too public with their ass banging. Trouble will ensue!
9 The castration of Theon Greyjoy by Ramsay Bolton is the ultimate ball clenching moment. But actually, the three burly men just cut off his cock and leave his balls so as he can still get turned on but do nothing about it.
8 Every appearance of Khal Drogo, the manliest man that ever existed in Season 1. The guy wears very little throughout and then you get two nude scenes (unfortunately shown from the back as we know he is bigger than Rocco Steele).
7 The Knight’s Watch. Several hundred very masculine guys guarding the wall for eternity without any women??? There are so many pseudo-gay moments resulting in hundreds of gay fan clips of the real meaning behind the words on YouTube. Basically it seems Jon Snow and the lads just love cock, check out the ‘He is grooming you line’.
6 When Renly gets killed, Loras needs a new ass in his bed. So he turns to Westeros’ chief gay escort Olyvar who soon stops charging when he gets the first load of royal spunk up his young ass.
5 Lord Varys, the gayest man in Westeros and known as The Lord of Whispers, lives for gossip like most gay men. He’s as queer as Kevin Spacey wearing a Kylie Minogue T-shirt at a Madonna concert.
4 The constant obsession with ball sacks and castration, Lord Varys tells us how he lost his. Greyworm and the 8,000 unsullied don’t have a single seed-producing sack between them. And Reek’s cock is kept in a jar by his captor for them both to look at over dinner. Maybe Ramsay uses it as a dildo on the quiet?
3 Loras Tyrell gets arrested and put on trial merely for liking cock. This makes Westeros an older version of Chechnya, Uganda, or the Middle East. His punishment is brutal, but at least he gets to feel some mancock in jail whilst awaiting his doom.
2 Our favourite gay hooker Olyvar again, this time hooking up with the Red Viper Prince himself. The Prince is the ultimate bisexual, claiming to have slept with ‘Half of Westeros’. Luckily, when he arrives in King’s Landing, he seems more in the mood for cock than pussy and cannot resist the escort’s 10-incher in scene after lubed-up scene.
1 Possibly the gayest moment in TV history, the infamous ‘shaving scene’ between Loras and Renly ‘How did you know I was into guys?’!!! After the nude shaving scene in front of other men, Loras goes down on Renly’s bulging shaft and gets his first taste and a huge mouthful of the next few million in line to the Iron Throne. Winter is coming indeed, but not as fast as Renly’s cock.